“How do I want to die?” This is a difficult conversation. Definitions, culture and which stage one is at in life brings so many variables to advance care planning. What is it, and most importantly, what does it mean to me?
Basically, advance care planning Involves thoughtfully considering what matters most to you. Advanced care planning involves making decisions about what kind of medical care and treatments you would or would not want if you were at the end of your life. Advanced care planning involves choosing a person who can understand these decisions and speak for you if you are unable. Most importantly, advance care planning involves having conversations about these issues and clearly communicating your choices with your family, your loved ones, and your doctor.
How does one start this conversation? A change in health or an accident can happen to any of us. No one wants to be in a difficult position of having to guess what kind of treatment a loved one would want or not want. And everyone wants to feel like they honored their loved one’s choices. When does someone have this conversation? When both parties are thinking clearly, and able to talk openly together. The subject can be raised indirectly at first, then those concerned talk more directly later. The goal is to make this a conversation about planning for the future, instead of about sickness and dying. I recommend using the tool called Five Wishes.
This is the first living will that will touch your personal, emotional and spiritual needs as well as your medical wishes. It lets you talk with your family, friends and doctor about how you want to be treated if you become seriously ill. Your family members will not have to guess what you want. It protects them if you become seriously ill, because they won’t have to make hard choices without knowing your wishes.
You can know what your mom, dad, or spouse, or friend wants. You can be there for them when they need you most…you will understand what they really want. The key is to commit to do it so that it does not become a crisis situation, but a memorable loving conversation.
For more information, feel free to reach out to those who are in the senior industry who understand this process. Living wills can be found at: fivewishes.org.
Courtesy of Kaylynn Evans, MSM-HC, CDDCT